Last day of school

5th April 2012
8.08am 

It's the last day of school. I'm writing this because I want to remember this moment. It's the last "last day of school" that I'm going to say. For the past 19 years, I've had many "last day of school" moments. But it's different today because it really is the last.

I've been waiting eagerly for the arrival of this day. This seemingly insignificant moment which turned out to be a great emotional hurdle for me to cross. Like every other week, Tracy asked me this morning "Dear want coffee later?" I never said "yes" because I don't always do coffees. But, I always appreciated that thought. It's the warm and fuzzy feeling I get every time we have a morning class together. We've been friends for so many years now... Almost 4 years.. We've seen the inside and out of each other, the pretty and the ugly. Even through space and time, our friendship remains solid. Thank God. Anyway yes, I said "yes" to a morning beverage today. I needed to savor the last of whatever's left. Time flies and I know I always say this.. But time really did fly by. There aren't many more days for me to live, love and laugh like a student.

As today marks the last day of school for me.. From the life of being in a university, to a life of being in the university of life. Surreal indeed. I don't recall how I've coped with transitions in life. The gathering of people, the bond between people and finally the parting. Goodbyes are so hard to do. Whoever said they're easy are heartless or have a heart made of stone. My heart is jelly, jello, konnyaku.

I will solemnly miss this. Whatever things and people that made up my university life in the past 4 years.. Not even going to leave out on the amount of complaining I did over the years. They're quite a heap, I must say. But these things, I'll truly miss.

It's the last morning class of my life (and I am late). I'm standing in the MRT carriage wondering what is the right kind of emotion I should be having. Blank. Blank and more blanks. I feel like crying.

People are ironic. Why do we never hold on to what we have, only to realize how much we've missed when things are lost? Why do people do regrets?

I'm currently lost for words yet I actually have a lot to say. There are a lot of photos that I want to take, and a lot of memories that I want to keep.

Today's the "last time" for me to act cool in my student gear (of shorts, earphones, laptop and whatever I like). I can't quite capture emotions. But before I alight at City Hall for the "last time", I will end with an entire bunch of gratitude. No matter how much I hated it, this made up a significant part of me. Thank you, school.

It's exactly 8.30am now.
Yes, I am late.


P.S. In case you're wondering, last day really isn't quite the "last day" since I still have 2 oustanding reports, 1 presentation, 1 out-of-nowhere class to attend and 2 written examinations. OH BOTHER :(