Saturday, March 24, 2012

Korean (!?) BBQ

(i started writing this post probably 2 weeks ago in my phone.. sometime before March 10.. finally finally finished it on my laptop+ posting this now before the shop closes down! hahahaha not lying.) 

"Gosh, I'm typing this now in the mrt, making my way home from school. Reckoned I might as well type something instead of "Draw Something"! I'm hooked to the game.. Drawing as much as I can so that I can purchase my first set of colour paints LOL."

Korean UFO Roaster Buffet 
Anyway! Here's to the ultimate Korean BBQ place at Marina Cove that deserves a post of its own. A classic example of how any dining outlet in Singapore (or anywhere on earth, in fact) should NOT be. Appalling level of service, gimmicks to fish for customers then not performing anything as promise. Gimmicks will always be gimmicks.

Some background story..
My ex-tutee saw a promotion on Streetdeal.com earlier this year, purchased some coupons to give my lil sisters and myself a korean bbq treat!


Splash of pretty amazing pictures and tonnes of promises. Free-flow of Sri Lankan Chili Crabs, Chicken Rice w Scallops+ Drinks+ Fruits+ more than 100 fresh meats, seafood, vegetables & MORE! ? Eh?

Hmmm.

Finally, taking a stab at the highlights featured on Streetdeal.com,

Highlights

  • Enjoy an Eat-All-You-Can Adult Korean UFO ROASTER+ Steamboat Buffet for adult only $15.90!
  • Free-flow of Sri Lankan Chili Crabs (mini flower crabs in bland gravy?), Chicken Rice w Scallops (invisible scallop?) + (diluted) Drinks+ Fruits+ more than 100 fresh meats, seafood, vegetables & MORE Really? no. no. NO. NO!!!! 
  • Restaurant has 300 Seating Capacity 300!? ha-ha bad joke.
  • 2 options of dining environment: Air-con ventilated / Alfresco
  • An ideal friends and family dine-out venue with lively surroundings
  • Entitled to 2 plates per person. No request for change of plates.
  • Independent environment. Wash your plates, refill your soup broth, learn to deal with limitations and expectations! Simply an experience of a lifetime! An ideal friends and family dine-out venue with lively surroundings
 

A check list:

[ ] Air-conditioning?
We're lucky enough to even be sitting near an air vent. Else, please do suffocate from the stale air. Zero circulation and warm as hell (not forgetting that it was 30 degree that day). Tough luck.

[ ] Setting?  Quite a significant number of tables and chairs in a tiny shop space (I don't understand why it looks so nice, spacious and toasty in the pictures). There's a UFO sitting right there on every table. Occasionally, you'll see a mini..... Hmm, pot?
Need a plate? They'll give it to you.
2 plates per person. One-off provision. Did I not mention that they're tea plates? They're smaller than my hands. Sorry, Korean BBQ UFO and what have you, my hands are so huge they span across your face.
Amazingly petite tongs for the food. How do we pick up any food? Well, the tongs were actually an impeccable match with the cute little plate.
The UFO which only looked awesome. The food turned out so dry.

[ ] Food?
So they claimed, unlimited, best chicken rice, chilli crabs and whatever more. No wonder a claim always stays a claim and nothing more. I'm going to be nasty with my comments but give me the freedom to speak up for the rest of the visited or sadly, visiting customers.. some of us will be victims since there's a whooping number of 3k++ who purchased the coupon.

From an objective point of view, food was terrible. There's hardly a time where we can go wrong with barbeque. It is normal to have it not-so-tasty but it really seldom sucks. Agree? Yet this place did it again. One stop shop for bad food, service and environment.
 
This is the only edible pot of stuff which were too salty and sucked but we had to eat because hello wtf a child paid for this meal i cannot do this to her by not eating anything >:( i appreciate people and their efforts!

Starting from the sauces. There were 4 different sauces. They claimed that we could diy 100s of sauces. Well, the math made sense.. Only that the sauces were so bad I didn't want a "bad on bad on bad". Yucks.

I can't even bring myself to mix anything together because it'll just be a congregation of all things crappy. It's a Korean BBQ place with no Korean BBQ hot sauce. Ok, fine... Their Thai chilli had a strong taste of cream soda (I think). It tasted like soft drinks in a sauce form. We even had Thai chilli in Sweden that's a million times better than this one here. The sauces were described to me, by the staff, as "Spicy", "Sour", "Sour" and "I'm not sure". Here's an A+ to you, UFO.

The marinated meat was too salty. The cooked meat? Terribly dry. I don't know if that's the result of the UFO but it certainly wasn't "juicy" as they've claimed to be.

The chilli crabs that were praised to high heavens tasted like crap. Even the crappy sauces tasted better than the gravy of the chilli crab which was so starchy and absolutely bland. Peiyi said "I think cook pre-mix by myself also better". There you go..... But I wasn't expecting anything more from this hell of a place anymore anyway.

Marinade salty - dry and salty
Chilli crab tastes like crap . Even chilli tastes better than the chilli crab gravy. Too starchy. Even Peiyi could tell us, " I think I cook pre-mix also better". Sigh.

As for the "chicken rice with scallop"? I'm guessing they're all donning the invisible cloak. I see no scal-lop. Not surprised though.. 

I wish I had a lot pictures (i usually snap too many photos for my own good) but my situation disallowed it. The heat, the service, the food, the loud and noisy staff screaming at each other. I wanted to stab some worms.


[ ] Service?
Speaking of service. Of course, you pay a premium to get service. Fine with us since we got a coupon deal. But this has got to be the worst ever.

Due to the nature of their staff, I had to play the role of a translator to a group of 7 angmoh grown men. Never mind this because I love talking to people and helping wherever I could. But the one thing that's truly unforgivable was when I saw ONE UFO and ONE POT to.. not 1, not 2, but 7 GROWN UP MEN. How is that remotely possible? How are they suppose to enjoy their food when every single one of them will have to stretch out so far just to be in contact with that crap of a scrap metal UFO? I hate how this 'restaurant' did it because this is the worst representation of acceptable service. They're not even locals. They're tourists / visitors who will go home with an impression that Singapore is 1-to-7. What absurdity.

Not forgetting to mention, everything there was SELF-SERVICE. Well, I love self-service. But this place brings a brand new definition to self-service. (I can throw in 9,999,999 likes to this statement). There's a buildup to it because it started off with being acceptable to ridiculous.

1. Take your own drinks
2. Grab the kettle from outside and fill your own 'steamboat'
3. Wash your own cups and plates

 
Peiyi filling the pot. Please do not misunderstand that she was happy because she's smiling in the picture. She's smiling only because she's paiseh to be in the photos. eg. I am also not happy as I type this post though I type :) right now. I am feeling like !#$%^&* now. 

You didn't hear me wrong. We have to WASH OUR CUPS AND PLATES BECAUSE THEY REFUSED TO GIVE US A NEW SET. Honestly, what is the rationale behind this? Save labour cost? Save plates? Save what? HELLO. This was utterly ridiculous. I watched this other innocent girl heading to the corner of this so-called restaurant to wash her cup because this fantastic staff told her "我们不给新的杯子和盘子。你可以去那里自己洗。" (translate: we don't give you a new set of cup and plates. go there to wash it yourself if you want.) I wash my own plates at home and I don't mind it at all but really. You dare label yourself a restuarant. EVEN YOSHINOYA, A FAST FOOD RESTAURANT/JOINT NEVER EVER FREAKING EVER ASKS ME TO WASH MY OWN BOWL. JUST WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!?!?!

WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO. Yes please. Come to our country because we welcome you. We don't hate you for the fact that you are foreign talents. But can you please don't provide us with such level of 'service'? We are paying customers. Yes, we're not kings and queens but I think we deserve every right to enjoy a minimal level of service. HELLO MY COUNTRY WE FREAKING PAY FOR ALL OF THESE WHATHAVEYOU SERVICE CHARGE AND TAX. I now know why they charge rocket high taxes in Europe (or at least that I know of). JUST LOOK AT THE SERVICE. LOOK AT THIS NONSENSE.

THERE THEY ARE SCREAMING AT THE TOP OF THEIR LUNGS ACROSS THE STALE SPACE IN THEIR STRONG ACCENTS (nvm this) AND LAUGHING LIKE MAD AT EACH OTHER'S LOUSY JOKE YET THEY REFUSED TO DO ANYTHING DESPITE BEING SO FREE. I reckoned they're probably busy directing people to do everything self-service. Bravo. Brava. Brahead.

Also, since I mentioned Yoshinoya, can I also add that this amazing "Korean" BBQ(?!?) does not give me a single piece of serviette / tissue / toilet paper / rough paper / rotten paper. We need to pay 30 cents for it. REALLY? DID YOU JUST SAY THAT TO ME. I wanted to kick the tables and chairs, throw the crabs on the floor, smear the starchy 'super awesome crab gravy' on their grimy walls.

I KNOW WE BOUGHT A COUPON DEAL BUT CAN I PLEASE HAVE A FREAKING PIECE OF TISSUE OR AT LEAST A NEW CUP. IM NOT EVEN ASKING U TO WIPE MOUTH FOR ME OR FEED ME. IS IT THAT TOUGH?


After typing this entire post, I've accumulated enough anger. But what I finally thought of is...

1. With the massive emergence of online deal sites, the "good deals" might really not be good.

2. Please merchants, if you want to do a deal, do it graciously. Do your business like how you do it even when you don't offer a deal. If you're going to treat your customers like dogs (thanks for the description, Chinapal), don't offer a deal. Why do a deal when you are so unhappy about it? Just so that you can earn on these "account payables"? Service is service. Bad service will mean bad business. Your sales figures will see exceptional results in the first round of deal but if your service sucks, get ready to pack up. Leave.

3. Don't be cheated by the pictures, the words, the beautiful picture that merchants paint for themselves.

Don't even want to go on about this. I'm so skeptical about deals-anything now.


My final thoughts by the end of this visit..

After this meal, I died from hypertension and angst.
Seoul garden ure ten million times better. I'd also rather eat 2 full meals at Macdonalds, bust my calorie intake limit, feel guilty but happy. Why? I can sit comfortably in an air-conditioned area, be given plain water in a new cup when I ask, get serviettes to wipe my mouth, wipe my hands, wipe my feet, wipe my face. Also, I can put my trays back to the deposit area and not having to wash my tray. Macdonalds and fastfood joints anywhere, you provide such premium serve. Be so proud of your business model.

I really hope this place is not yet dead. I hope someone googles up this restaurant and finds this post. I hope someone can tell me I am wrong. But I am almost 99.9% certain that I am so not wrong about this.

Korean UFO Roaster Buffet

East Coast Park, Near Macdonald
1000 East Coast Park
B15 / 17
Marine Cove
Singapore 449876

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Will add a dash of happiness to this by posting some irrelevant pictures of my sisters and Peiyi.. 
Super mega fantastic loaf of bread which is so light like chiffon i'm gonna call it the chiffon bread from JuzBread!!!!!! 

 We bought these on the same day from FEP because there were food stalls at the atrium.. Other than that, I only know that these are always available at raffles place exchange! :)

P.S. If you look at these pictures and think that this place is decent, can I please assure you that it is merely the quality of the pictures taken by my camera. Pictures are taken with an Olympus Pen E-PL2, 14-42mm kit lens. I'm no photographer but the camera is decent. Not the restaurant nor the food. I don't even want to give them a single bit of credit, except for the strong motivation for me to type such a post.

2 comments:

  1. Thanks for your post. I was gg to buy the deal and i saw ur post. Thanks again! :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You're most welcome! :) Glad you didn't have to experience this.. eat at a better bbq place! :)

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